


Genius Secrets

by ShianneUrami



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Stridercest - Freeform, Vibrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-25
Updated: 2012-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-12 21:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShianneUrami/pseuds/ShianneUrami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk is worried that his kinks aren’t up to the famous Strider ironic coolness. He’s probably wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Genius Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Another little ficlet, half on an art trade with MonsieurMoose.

Dirk shut the door behind him, droplets of water still clinging to his skin from the shower. He dropped the towel across the bed, turning to the dresser. He opened it, riffling through the socks to pull out a pair of lacy panties with a little heart charm. Not a second thought and he was already one leg into them. He stopped then though.

Flashes of Bro’s face danced behind his eyelids. The soft smirk, the darkening of lust in his eyes. That voice. The spring in his stomach tightened a bit, warming. He let out a small happy sigh at the thought. But then the expression contorted. It changed. Bro wasn’t lying under him with that approving smile. He was looming over him, his lips moving, his eyebrows pressed together in a scowl. He was scolding him for something.

His mind filtered out the static and voice was harsh and sudden in his ears.

“I just don’t fucking understand Dirk. It’s not right. You’re a cool dude. Act like one for fuck’s sake.”

Dirk flinched, dropping his gaze. His thumb ran over the lace that edged the waistband of the panties halfway up his leg. This wasn’t cool. Cool guys didn’t wear panties. Cool guys fought with swords on rooftops in the hot Texan sun. Cool guys wore soft worn leather gloves everywhere but the shower. Cool guys were like Bro.

He looked into the drawer, panties of different colors and patterns. Thinking on it, he didn’t even remember if he owned a pair that was ‘normal’.

“You’re some paradoxal me. I don’t do that shit. C’mon Dirk, it’s just not right.”

Dirk put a hand to his temple, staring off into space. The disapproving voice in his head was Bro’s. Why though? Bro had never been mean, or bad tempered. Not that he could remember. So why was this voice his? Why was he scolding him? What had Dirk done wrong?

He plopped down onto the bed. It groaned in protest. His elbows rested on his knees, the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes. He sat like that for a few minutes, hair dripping, staring down at the carpet under his toes. He shook his head quickly, standing up.

Dirk crossed the room and threw open the closet. He yanked the dresser drawer open, pulling it out of the dresser completely before emptying it in one swing into the bottom of his closet. He slammed it not so gently back into the dresser, knocking a few of the things off. He proceeded to do the same with the other three.

He tore everything off the hangers, leaving them in a heap at the bottom. One of the sheets off his bed served to hide the shameful mess. Dirk stood looking at it, one hand on the door. A tightness in his chest had slowly been building through this little temper tantrum and looking at it now, he broke down.

He leaned against the door, sliding down it, a few tears dripping over. As soon as he was kneeling on the floor though, the dam broke, letting loose all the pain and frustration and harsh bitter tears. Dirk didn’t make a sound though, point for him. He just rested his forehead against the door, the balled up mess just out of the corner of his eye. Tremors ran through him and the tears dotted his knees with the last drops of water from his hair.

He shifted so he could sit back on his ass, curling his arms around his knees, forehead pressed against them. He held on tightly, hoping the tighter the grip, the less he’d shake. It didn’t help. Thank God Bro wasn’t home to see this glorious fucking train wreck.

When Dirk had stopped shaking he dug the heel of his hands into his eyes, wiping away the tears, leaving the dried lines of salt to crack as he whispered to himself, “So stupid Dirk. You were so fucking intelligent to think he’d actually- UGH!”

He slammed his fist into the floor another choked sob catching in his throat. A voice behind him, very close to his own startled him, “You really are stupid, you know that? A genuine, run of the mill idiot. Congratulations moron, you’ve set yourself on the track to a horribly depressing life.”

Dirk turned slowly, a knot in his stomach. The Kamina shades perched on the end table next to the bed flared with two red lights, staring at him. His jaw set and he shook his head, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m you, only an infinite number of times better. I know you better than you do Dirk.”

“You might know me, but you don’t know him!” he snapped, digging his nails into the thick carpet. “You don’t know anything about him!”

“It seems like you don’t either.” The voice was smooth and confident.

Dirk swallowed hard, his stomach clenching. He turned back around, resting his arms on his knees, “Forget it, alright. You don’t understand jack shit about the situation.”

“I understand 98.7% of this situation Dirk. From what I can assess, you understand even less. What is your major malfunction with the current situation?”

“Hal, you just don’t get it. You’re an AI dude! You wouldn’t understand this kind of deep seeded emotional distress. My fucking heart is getting ripped out. Literally. I think I just felt a tendon snap.”

A small laugh, completely devoid of humor. Condescending. Dirk grit his teeth, kicking the closet door closed. He scrambled to his feet, snatching the glasses off the table. He dug his painted nails into them. A small whine of the strain and the voice came again, “Cool kid’s don’t judge.”

His heart skipped a beat. Breathing past the lump of misery caught in his throat was difficult but he managed, “What?”

“You heard me. Cool kids don’t judge. Cool kids like Bro. He doesn’t care what you wear, if have all the little kinks in the world and from what I can collect, he’d even still love your pathetic excuse for a life if you looked like a horses ass. Which you do.”

Dirk’s grip on the glasses lessened and he stared down into the red lights that seem to look right into his soul. Well, they kind of did. The voice he’d been hearing was his own, albeit slightly robotic. Lil’Hal knew Dirk’s brain inside and out better than even he did. And if he was saying all of this…?

He sighed, running his hands through his hair, “I still don-“

“The red one. The one with the white lace around the edges and the black ribbons. Pretty sure he’ll like that one. Get your scrawny albino ass in it and go lay on his bed.”

“Hal! You’re crazy! That’s not going to- He’s- UGH! No! Alright, just no.”

“What happened to your cool kid visage Dirk? You seem to be flipping your shit over something pretty small. You should add in that garter and those thigh highs if you’re going to go all out on this.”

“HAL!”

“I am completely serious. Like, so serious, it’s more than 100%. Like 102% serious Dirk.”

“Dude. He’s going to hate it. He hesitates enough as it is with the girly fucking panties, okay? I do not need to reiterate my love life with him to you.”

“And I want to hear it even less, believe you me. You are me. He is technically us as well, but let’s ignore that for now, shall we? And that’s hesitation, but not for the reason you think I think.”

This arguing was giving him a headache. Dirk dropped down onto the bed, bouncing a bit before settling. He sighed, “Enlighten me oh light one.”

“Funny. I get it. It’s the LEDs, isn’t it?” Hal chuckled.

“Shut up and get to the point Hal.” He snapped.

“Alright alright, don’t get your panties in a bunch. Literally.” He pauses to chuckle again, you can almost see him shaking his head at his stupid jokes, “He swallows hard when he sees them on your bony hips, right? Little bit of a sheen of sweat maybe? Possibly a bit of a twitch of that hard on to-?”

Dirk groaned, shaking his head. “Really Hal? Come on. Can we not go there with this? I still don’t understand what the hell you’re getting at.”

There’s an odd silence. The only breathing is Dirk’s, obviously. Eventually the voice comes again, sudden. “You really don’t? How can the 6 years, 7 months, 134 days, 9 hours, 26 minutes and 8 seconds since you made me put this much of a gap between us? You’re an idiot. Truly Dirk.”

He didn’t deny it. He’d been calling himself an idiot all morning. But oddly, having an AI version of himself tell him that, it kind of felt worse. And a bit more true. Dirk didn’t say anything. The AI would eventually say something. And he did.

“He loves it dumbass. The hitch in breath, the hesitation. He’s a fucking sap for that shit. I don’t know how you didn’t see it, and if you think about it, it makes a fuck ton more sense since he IS YOU. Us. Whatever. Point is, you’re an little twink and need to man up. Get your frilly dress on, and a nice pair of panties with SLUT written across the ass and go show him who’s boss. The boss being him because you are an unstoppable bottom if there ever was one.”

Dirk didn’t move. The blonde just sat there, the glasses sitting loosely in his hands across his lap. The program sighed, “Go now or I’m sending him a message. And that won’t end well. Trust me.”

A long forlorn look into the closet that held all of the things he thought Bro hated. He still had a sliver of doubt, but the more he thought about it, the more Dirk realized Lil’Hal was probably right. No. He was a program with all the knowledge out there. ALL the knowledge.

-

The door shut with a faint click and he mentally kicked himself for making so much noise. There wasn’t a noise in the house. He could usually pick up what room Dirk was in if he took a minute. But he heard nothing. He was probably out. Bro rolled his shoulder, setting his bag and katana down next to the door, letting his guard down. No need to keep it up if no one was home.

He leaned against the counter with a glass of water when he heard it. He cocked his head to the side, listening to see if he could catch whatever it was again. Nothing. Curiosity killed the cat and he went to check out what it could be. Maybe Dirk was getting a bit better at this. Possibly.

Bro opened his door slowly, the darkness within was normal. He didn’t flick on the light but stepped in. His foot brushed against something that he didn’t remember being there when he’d left. A soft buzzing and a hitch in breath. He turned his gaze to the bed to the right, eyes adjusting to the darkness, the open door help to cast dramatic shadows across the figure.

Dirk laid across the bed, a nice red dress with white lace around the edges and black ribbon crisscrossed the front. His eyes trailed up black thigh highs with little red hearts dotting them. He could see the thin line of a pair of bright pink panties in the ruffles of his dress. He just stared for a moment before glancing down. His eyebrow knitted together and he looked back up.

The buzzing was coming from Dirk and the hitch in breath told him exactly what was going on. The cord that connected the remote at his feet to the vibrator he KNEW was humming in Dirk’s ass. A dark layer of lust in his eyes and Dirk asked lightly,

“Come here often?”


End file.
